continuamos sem nada para dizer: setembro 2007

Numa tentativa de baixar ainda mais o nível, já de si subterrâneo, deste blog, eis uma selecção de anedotas sobre Madeleine McCann retiradas da Sickpedia. Humor negro e absolutamente doentio, pelo que se avisa desde já os espíritos mais sensíveis a não irem mais além na leitura.

E sim, é o mau-gosto no seu estado mais puro! Fica a esperança de um dia ainda conseguirmos descer mais por estas bandas...

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and the Pope?
The Pope died a virgin.

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New car being launched in Portugal, space in the boot for a child. It's called the Renault McCann.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
Madeleine McCann jokes will get old.

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Congratulations to Madeleine McCann - 2007 Hide and Seek European Championships winner!

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Why is Madeleine McCann like a submarine?
Both are 10 feet under and full of seamen!

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Jerry and Kate McCann went to see the Pope to ask if he could help find their daughter.
The Pope said he'd love to help but the Catholic Clergy was more used to hunting down small boys.

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Drinks: 20 euro
Tapas for four: 50 euro
Getting all-expense paid trips round the world simply by leaving your kids behind with the doors and windows open: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MaddieCard.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Elvis?
More people believe Elvis is still alive.

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Whats the difference between the English and Madeleine McCann?
The English are still tight.

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What's the plus side of a costly spring family holiday in Portugal?
A cheaper Christmas

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What's the difference between the McCanns and Gary Glitter?
Gary Glitter comes back from his holidays with more kids than he left with.

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Wearing a yellow ribbon isn't going to help find Maddie. Have you thought about yellow shovels, yellow scuba-gear or a yellow bloodhound?

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Q: What did Madeleine McCann ask for for her 4th birthday?
A: Better parents.

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What's the difference between peas and sperm?
Maddie never got used to the taste of peas.

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What's worse than leaving your three-year-old and your twin two-year-olds at home alone?
Having Mr and Mrs. Mccann take them on holiday.

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Maddy's mummy standing here
Wipes away a little tear.
Is it cos she's lost her daughter?
No, it's cos they've nearly caught her.

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Why did the Paedophile cross the road?
Because the stupid fuckin McCanns were in the pub......Bastards.

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What's the difference between the McCanns and other parents?
When other parents bury their kid in sand at the beach for a laugh, they dig them back out afterwards.

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What's the difference between the Find Madeleine Campaign and CSI?
One is an over-the-top, money-spinning work of fiction possibly based on a real crime, and everyone knows what CSI is.

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"Knock Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Well it ain't Maddie."

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What's worse than Michael Jackson babysitting your kids?
The McCanns taking them on holiday!

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Look on the bright side - the McCanns might have killed their daughter but at least they've missed a bad British summer.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Princess Diana?
Only two people saw Madeleine's burial.

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Questions to ask Gerry and Kate McCann, if they hold a press conference in the UK ?
1. So, apart from that, how was the meal?
2. Got any holidays planned?
3. Have you thought of going into the childcare business?
4. Which Portuguese policeman is your favourite?
5. Did you check out the Pope's alibi thoroughly? He did used to be a Nazi afterall...
6. How does collecting a million quid in donations to your non-charitable appeal fund help to find someone when you are not actually doing any of the searching or investigation and the whole investigation is, in fact, being funded by the taxpayers of Portugal, the UK, Belgium, Morocco etc etc ?

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and my bike?
My bike doesn't cry when I ride it.

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What do bananas and Madeleine McCann have in common?
They're both coming to the UK in boxes.

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What do Maddie and Liverpool have in common?
Both lost in Europe.

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What do the Portuguese police and the Premiership have in common??
No Leeds!!!

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Have you heard the latest one about Maddie McCann?
Neither has she...

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Robert Murat was asked if the constant police presence at his Portuguese villa was annoying.
He said "Annoying, No, I'm fucking Mad".

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Why did Kate McCann bury her daughter?
Gerry was too busy wanking!

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What's the difference between Robert Murat and a child murderer?
About 200 yards.

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What's the different between Maddie and a Boomerang?
Boomerangs come back.

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What's dead and not newsworthy?
Madeleine McCann.

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Madeleine's holiday was a typical trip to a European resort. Ruined by a stupid Gerry.

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Tourists to Portugal have been warned it can be very expensive eating out. In some places a meal can cost as much as a small child.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and her parents?
About 1500 miles...

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Lisa Stansfield is rereleasing one of her classic songs for Maddie McCann as a request by her parents:
"Been around the world and I, I, I, I can't find my baby."

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What's the difference between Kate McCann and OJ Simpson?
There's a possibility Simpson was innocent!

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Why should you never trust a Portuguese hire car agent?
They told Kate McCann whatever the children might spill on the seats could easily be cleaned off.

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Q) What do Maddie McCann and Elvis have in common??
A) We all know they're dead, but there are a few nutter's who still claim to have seen them.

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What's the difference between Maddie McCann and a boomerang?
I don't forcibly sodomise a boomerang every night when I get home from work.

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What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Freddie Mercury?
Freddie actually wanted it in the arse.

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Typical doctors, the McCanns... very adept at burying their mistakes.

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What's the difference between The McCann's and Fred West?
Fred West still has his girls in the house.

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What's the price of a meal at your favourite tapas restaurant?
Your daughter.

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I opened my paper today and was disgusted by the title: "100 DAYS ON AND MADDIE'S STILL MAKING HEADLINES".
I mean she's still making videos as well, but there's no need to advertise is there???

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What do Madeleine McCann and Harry Houdini have in common?
They both do disappearing acts and they're both dead!

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What's the difference between Maddie and her parents?
Several feet of soil.

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Maddie's Gravestone: R.I.P (Raped in Portugal).

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What's the difference between a cure for cancer and Madeleine McCann?
A cure for cancer will be found one day...

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Why did the kidnappers take Madeleine McCann but leave the other two children?
They weren't flirting.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and Gerry McCann?
Michael Jackson only fucks his kids

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What's the difference between Gerry McCann and Peter Lorre's character in the film M?
Peter Lorre's character had a profound mental disorder and as such could not be held responsible for killing children.

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What have the England Football team and Maddie McCann got in common?
They both get fucked over by Europeans on a regular basis

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On arriving home on Monday the McCanns realised they didnt have any food in the fridge, so they tucked their twins up in bed and went out to the local Chinese.

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Why did Mr and Mrs McCann cross the road?

That's where they abandoned their kids.

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I told Maddie we shouldn't have sex in the back of her mum and dad's rental car, but she just wouldn't listen.